Seriously? May 1, 2009

I swear to God all of of this really happened.  And really happened to us.  And really happened in the span of about a week… And I really haven’t had to be committed… yet…

It all started with a chipped tooth…  I should have taken that as a sign of what was about to come.  The next two days I was bitting my lip non stop and couldn’t keep my tongue off the jagged edge.  It was like a freaking obsession.  The only thing that got me to stop was Coop’s 4 month checkup.  As mentioned before, the poor guy had Bronchiolitis.  So our poor kid had to wear a mask for a breathing treatment 3 times a day, 20 minutes at a time… but at least I quit biting my damn lip.

I think I’ve mentioned our electrical issues before, but just in case – about 2 months ago the power in Cooper’s room and the upstairs hallway started going on and off on a whim.   We’d flip the breaker and it wouldn’t come back.  And then mysteriously it would just come back on whenever it felt like it.  It was highly disturbing as we felt it was unsafe – nothing like having your kid sleep in a fire hazard.  Luckily we have a friend who’s an electrician.  John came out a month ago to take a look and felt it was likely a bad breaker.  However, our panel was so old you can’t buy breakers for it.  This was something John had warned us about a couple years ago when we had him out for another issue.  Well, Todd has had a lot of electrical dreams for the house – like dedicated circuits for his workshop & power tools in the garage and what has turned into a small data center in our home office.  Also, we figured we’d probably have to upgrade the panel to get the house past a home inspection when we sell it anyway.  So, we paid John to upgrade our electrical service, breaker panel, and add some dedicated circuits.   He also went thru the outlets and switches in Coop’s room to insure everything was well connected.  The day after John was out to do all the work, we had Jen & Stacy babysit while Todd and I went to the Eagles concert.  When we got home, they told us that the power went out on them when they put Coop to bed.  SH*T!  So, the next week I went thru all of the hall lights to make sure they were properly wired.  BINGO!  Found a loose wire in one of the hall lights.  We had absolutely no problems for almost a month – until this past week.  And that’s what triggered the avalanche…  HA – literally the Avalanche (of the Chevy kind!  Keep reading!)

So 1am Saturday morning, Todd’s Birthday, the baby monitor in our room stars going bezerk because it’s lost its signal from the base.  I jumped out of bed and ran into Coop’s room.  No power.  SH*T!  So Todd and I decided, in the middle of the night, that I would find an electrician to come out on Saturday to take another look and to flip the breaker off which, we learned when John labeled all of the breakers in our new panel, also turns off the power in our bedroom…  Todd had to be up and on the road to get to Cincinnati for a softball tournament.  The Marysville guys were arriving at our house at 6.  When they called him at 5:45 that they were on their way, Todd jumped out of bed and into the shower.   Of COURSE he hadn’t packed yet either.  Amazingly, they were on the road by 6:05.

6:15am, my phone rings – Todd.  “I just hit a deer… I’m bringing the truck back to the house.  It’s pretty bad.  Can you see if you can get it over to the Chevy dealer today?”  Me, not awake – “Uh, okay.”  But of course its not just a matter of getting it to a Chevy dealer…  So by 6:45 they had gotten all of their equipment moved over to his friend’s truck, and they were again on their way to Cincinnati.  I was at home to now deal with finding an electrician, submitting an insurance claim, AND getting the truck to a body shop.  Of course, Coop is with me too.  After unsuccessful calls to 3 body shops, 2 electricians, and watching the sunshine out the window as the temperature rose to the 80’s I said “SCREW THIS” and Coop and I drove to Cincinnati.  If Daddy gets to play outside – so do we!  We also wanted to spend Daddy’s birthday with him and take him some cupcakes.

Saturday in Cincy was beatiful.  Coop was awesome at the ballfield.  We were able to forget about everything for a few hours – breathing treatments, electrical issues, a smashed truck back home.  All we did was enjoy the sunshine, fresh air, and Daddy’s ball tournament.  On the way home, Coop crashed – or so I thought.  About 30 minutes into our 90  minute drive home, he woke up and freaked out.  I had to pull over to soothe him at a gas station.  He’d settle down  great until I’d try to put him back in his seat – then it was freak out time!  He’s NEVER like this in the car, so I was kinda at a loss what to do.  OH, and Daddy was still in Cincinnati with the softball team.  After rocking him to sleep 3 times, only to have him wake up when I put him back in his seat, I decided I had to just resume driving with him wailing.  I drove up 71 reaching back to hold his binky in his mouth and stroked the side of his face with my thumb.  After about 10 miles he crashed again and was quiet the rest of the way home.  When we got home he was a champ about getting a bath (he was filthy from the flying dirt at the ballfields!) and getting to bed at a very late 10:00.

Sunday morning Daddy got home around 9:30 and announced not one, but two bombshells.  1) The motorecycle sold.  2) The puppy can be picked up tommorrow (Monday).  So let me back up a moment…  We got Todd a motorcycle last summer when gas prices were over $4/gallon and he was driving his 15mpg Avalanche all over creation given it was ball season.  We looked for a decent used one, but ended up getting a pretty good deal on a new Honda Shadow 750.  A smaller bike than Todd would ideally like to have, but being brand new we knew we’d have a warranty to lean on as well as a clean history.  About a month ago, Todd’s uncle Jim contacted him to see if Todd would like to buy his Honda VTX – a larger bike, that Jim has only put 600 miles on.  Todd immediately told Jim he didn’t think we could do it given we just had a baby,  just bought the Shadow, etc. etc., and that the only possibility would be if he could sell his Shadow, give that money direct to Jim and then make Jim payments on the difference.  Jim says “OK.  Sell the Shadow within a month and its a deal.”  Literally the day Todd’s eBay auction is to expire, we get a buyer on the Shadow. 

And now, the puppy…  After a lot of tough conversations about whether or not it was the right time, we decided if we didn’t get a puppy now, it would likely be years before there was a better time, assuming Cooper will not be an only child.  We know that Bailey doesn’t have years, and we know we can never be without a dog.  Coop is still fairly immobile at this point, so we have a little time to get a puppy broken in before we have a cruiser or toddler trying to get around the house.  Todd found a Rott breeder he liked up in Canton and the puppy was to be picked up on Friday, May 1st.   Knowing he’d have to take a 1/2 day vacation to drive to Canton, Todd also decided to reschedule his knee surgery he was supposed to have last fall to today, April 30th, taking the 30th and the 1st off.  So, as you can imagine I was really looking forward to having a crippled husband at home with a new puppy – but he assured me he would be fine the day after surgery to take responsibility for the dog.  Well, now the dog was ready to arrive before surgery.  Not only that – but I only had a day to prepare myself mentally for his arrival…

Sunday morning at church I prayed harder then I think I’ve ever done.  I prayed for strength to make it thru this week with my sanity AND my marriage.  Was God really testing my breaking point?  We have no idea to what extreme our electrical issue is at this time.  We have serious damage to our primary vehicle that we plan to squeeze another 30k miles out of so that we don’t have to take on a car payment in this unstable economy.   Sure, insurance is covering it, but we have to cover the deductible and our premium is likely to jump.  We were about to have a 7 1/2 week old puppy in the house with a 4 month old.  Todd is going to have knee surgery, so I will have 3 babies to take care of.  And now we are committed to buying a new motorcycle, when we had both convinced ourselves the one we had wouldn’t sell, and are spending money we hadn’t planned to spend.  I left church feeling better.  God was going to get me thru.  He wouldn’t deal me anything I couldn’t handle.  What doesn’t kill us, makes us stronger.  Blah blah blah…

When I got home from church Todd told me his dad was coming down to figure out our electrical issues so we could potentially avoid the costs of an electrician.  I said, ‘great!’ but wasn’t sure what else there was for us to figure out on our own.  We had been thru all the outlets, switches and lights.  Whatever was happening was surely beyond our capabilities.  But, doesn’t hurt to try!  So I ran to Subway to get us all some lunch.  It’s just down the street, so I just grabbed my wallet & keys – not my cell.  After waiting endlessly in line behind a soccer team, I get our sandwiches and head back out to the Explorer.  I turn the key and NOTHING.  I try several times.  NOTHING.  The gauges move a bit when I have the key in the start position, but no lights on the dash, no noises, no NOTHING.  I go inside and ask the thrilled Subway employees (who just had to feed an entire soccer team) that I needed to use their phone.  Todd answers and the first thing I said was “I swear to God I am not kidding when I say this.  My car is dead.  Won’t do a thing.”  Todd left Coop at home with Grandpa and drove over to save me.  I amazingly saved myself from a breakdown i the Subway parking lot.  I’m still not sure how I did.  Todd busts out the jumper cables.  Nothing only became “click click click click click”…   After several tries, we give up and Todd drives me home in the smashed Avalanche.  At home we call AAA.  Do I want them to send the battery truck or the tow truck?  Well, since we didn’t have any success jumping it ourselves, I asked for the tow truck.  They said either would try to jump it first.   Todd and Grandpa met the AAA guy at Subway so I could regroup with Coop.  AAA was able to get it to start right up with their jump pack, but wouldn’t leave until they made sure it would start up a 2nd time.  It didn’t – even after letting it run for 10 minutes.  So, after jumping it a 2nd time, Todd drove it to the Ford service center and dropped the key in the drop box for them to figure it out Monday.  So now we’re down to one car – the smashed Avalanche.  Did I mention the deer crapped on the side of it?

Monday morning I took Todd to work and then drove his truck to my office.  He was afraid to ride the motorcycle.  With all the luck we were having, he thought for sure that would be bad news.  But also, now that it was sold, he didn’t think he should ride it.  So anyway, we get to work safely and now I’ve added the Jim Keim Ford Service department to my list of follow-ups for my workday.  When my boss got in, I warned him that I had a lot going on and could lose it at any moment.  Sometime mid-morning Todd called and asked me if I could call State Farm and… I really don’t know what else he said because I immediately went into a haze.  When he stopped talking I just said “Honey, can you deal with the insurance company, please? You should have all the claim info on that paper I gave you.” Todd agreed to that, but State Farm and the Chevy dealership ended up calling me all day because my cell number is what I had provided on Saturday when I submitted the claim since Todd was out of town.  I happily redirected all of them by saying “Can you please contact my husband?”  Whew, one thing off my list.

So then I got a hold of the Ford service center to make sure they had all the info they needed to look at my Explorer.  “Yep – have all the info, but haven’t looked at it yet.  We’ll call ya”.  Ok – next!

The electrician.  I called 3 of them.  2 that I had called Saturday but they didn’t call me back (but them,  BBB gave them A & A+ ratings?!  HMPH!) One said they couldn’t be out until Friday.  “Um, we’re pretty sure we have a fire hazard here.  Are you SURE you can’t be there until Friday?”  I hesitantly set an appointment for Friday at 8am, but told them I’d likely be cancelling because I would find someone else to get there sooner.  But of course at this point I’m thinking I’ll run into this issue with every electrician I talk to and better get the appointment booked.  By 2:00 that afternoon I had a 5:00 appointment.  In the meantime, Todd has successfully acquired a rental car and has arranged for the Avalanche to be towed away from our house.  Thank God because I wasn’t sure how we were going to get my truck picked up, his dropped off, Coop to Daycare, and both of us to work on Tuesday morning – OH, and by Tuesday morning we’re throwing a puppy into the mix because he’s being picked up Monday night…

Mid afternoon the Ford dealer called saying the alternator was fine, the battery was just so dead the alternator couldn’t charge it anymore.  OH, and I needed rear brakes and an oil change.  UH, No I don’t!  Not this week!  I ok’d the battery and said the rest would have to happen another time.  They said they’d have it ready for me by 4 and they were open until 9 for pickup.

When I got off work Monday afternoon to meet the electrician, Todd had already been picked up by his dad and was 1/2 way to Canton to get the pup.  So I’m home alone with Coop.  The electrician identifies the issue in about 10 minutes.  Loose wire in one of the WORKING outlets in the guest bedroom.  He said the neutral wire was loose, so it was getting power, but nothing beyond it was – when it wasn’t making a connection.  So, we were on the right track – we were just distracted by only testing connections that weren’t working.  Oh well, he gave me the Angie’s list discount even though I had told him I had let my subscription expire (2 years ago!).  $114 and 10 minutes later we HOPE we have our electrical crisis under control.   Now onto the tow truck.

Todd told me the tow truck was supposed to be at the house at 6.  6:45 I was still waiting on them.  So I called the Chevy collision center, who luckily still had someone around to give me the phone number for the towing company.  I called them and they said they were within a mile of the house.  So by 7:15 the Avalanche is towed away.

Now its time to get Coop a bath.  Oh crap.  Coop hasn’t had a bottle since 4:15…  I had been so wrapped up in electricians and towing companies I didn’t feed my kid!  Ok, fast bath and get the kid his bedtime bottle!  Coop SCREAMED thru his entire bath.  The kid LOVES bathtime – but HATES it when he’s hungry!  7:30 I’m getting him toweled off an I hear the garage door open.  That’s strange – I just talked to Todd when they drove the truck off and he’s still 2 hours away!  I peek out Coop’s window.  Grandma & Dale were letting themselves in thru the garage.  Grandma & Dale know that Coop goes to bed at 7:30, don’t they?!?  So I continued to get Coop ready for bed and he’s just done with me.  He’s putting up quite a fuss as I hear Grandma & Dale downstairs saying “oh, someone’s not happy!”  I remain calm and get the bottle in his mouth as fast a I can as we rock.  Ahh, finally he’s happy.   10 minutes later Dale yells “DIANE, WHERE ARE YOU???”  And then I lost it.  I snapped.  At that moment, I was just beside myself.  I said very loudly “I AM PUTTING… THE BABY… TO BED…” and Coop started crying again.  I settled him down, got up, closed the nursery door, and just continued to rock and feed Coop, but of course he can still sense my stress and tension and won’t settle in.   Another 10 minutes passes, Coop has finished his bottle, I hear the nursery door open.  Grandma peeks in and I say as calmly as I can “He is going to bed.”  So she closes the door and I get Coop in his crib.  I collect myself for a moment, but then realize that I can’t just let this go.  There has been too much sh*t piled on me today.  I step downstairs to the living room where they’re sitting and say to Dale, “What on earth possessed you to yell into a house where you know there is a baby going to bed?” “Oh, I didn’t know.  Sorry!” “It is 7:30.  He goes to bed at 7:30.” and I continued down to the kitchen.  In the kitchen I see the box of baby food and cereal they brought and realized why they had come.  I then tried to apologize, but I was so beyond my boiling point at this time that it certainly did not come out as an apology.  In a very stern voice I said “I’m sorry, but I have been on the phone all day with insurance companies, auto service centers, electricians and towing companies.  I then had a fussy kid to deal with all on my own while my husband is picking up a puppy.  I haven’t had a moment to myself and haven’t had dinner.  I wished you guys had called first and I would have let you know this was a horrible night to stop by.”  Pretty clear on the fact that I wasn’t up for visitors, they made their way toward the door and offered to pick up some food for me.  I said “no thank you”, just wanting some time to myself to unwind.  Once they left I immediately called Todd to let him know how crappy I was to his Mom and apologized to him.  I then made myself dinner and cracked open a beer.  1/2 way thru my meal, Coop woke up…  I went ahead and warmed up the last bottle in the fridge, fed him again and sang to him to better hide my tension.  This time he settled in for real and was asleep by 9.  After I finished my dinner and got bottles washed, Todd arrived home with the puppy while I made bottles for the next day.  So much for a little time to myself!  OH, and now its too late to pick up my truck…

Admittedly, Gunner’s arrival has gone more smoothly than expected.  Todd is owning up to his promise that the puppy will be his responsibility, knowing that Coop is my primary responsibility.   Todd slept the first two nights on the basement floor (its carpeted) so that he’s next to the crate and can soothe the little guy as needed.  Tuesday we dropped Coop off at daycare with the rental car, and then got my car at the Ford dealer when they opened at 7:30.  Todd took it to work, and we got ourselves back on a more normal schedule.   Well, for a day anyway.  The guy who is buying the motorcycle lives in Cincinnati and wants to meet halfway to close the deal.  Can we meet him in Jeffersonville Wednesday night?  So we added that to the calendar and decided we’d better get to Petsmart Tuesday night to get all of the things we didn’t get a chance to get over the weekend for the puppy.  Even after Todd’s birthday giftcard from Mom & Dad Myers, we were well over $100… ugh.  So Tuesday evening Todd was very attentive to me, making sure my stress level wasn’t going to cause him any pain.  He took care of bottles and cleaning up after dinner.  A little peace of mind did me well.  By Wednesday morning I was feeling more normal.  I wasn’t even bothered by the drive to Jeffersonville.  I even entertained Coop in the back seat the whole way back.

But then it was Todd’s turn to freak out.  The reality that his surgery was the next morning started to sink in and his nerves were showing.  But I will say that I’m very proud of him.  We got up this morning and he was ready to help get Coop up as well as take care of Gunner.  He was a good sport with all the doctors & nurses throughout his surgery.  He absolutely hates needles, but no nurses were lost in the process of him getting his IV!  So the rest of the day we took it easy.  Todd spent most of the day on the couch with his knee iced until Grandpa arrived at 7:30 with the ‘new’ motorcycle.  Todd helped get it off the trailer, but let his dad drive it into the garage.  He did admit to going out to the garage to sit on it though…

So that’s the last chapter of the novel.  All of the things I’ve been dreading about this week are now done.   I survived.  Only slightly scarred.  Only a few victims in the process.

Of course, the bills still haven’t arrived for all this…

Please God, don’t do this to me again!